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Comedy and Tragedy


It was the best of times, and it was the worst of times.  I generally hate cliche quotes that can easily be slapped on memes or on the coffee mug of a basic b!tch, but I'm hard pressed to find a better phrase to describe my life currently.  In short: I've been having the most fun that I've ever had in the eight months since I moved to LA, but then the emergency breaks got slammed on my life when my mother fell gravely ill and passed away two weeks later on June 6th.  

I'm currently back in LA, after being gone for three weeks.  I'm looking forward to continuing my comedy journey, as I feel it will save me from myself at this time.  But while I'm functioning okay as I'm still in a great deal of shock and my current mode is auto pilot, certain hours of the day prove to me that I'm very jumbled up and confused about my mom's passing.  I suddenly don't know what I'm in for and I don't know what I'm doing.

Not knowing what I'm doing applies to blog life as well.  As you've been likely able to deduce, I've struggled as a blogger the past year.  Comedy has taken over my life, and while I still love quirky and classic fashion, I have not documented my outfits nearly as much.  In fact, my passion for documenting my outfits have waned.  Some of that is due to comedy being my focal point, some of that is being burned out from the grind of taking daily photos, and some of it is due to how the fashion blog industry has changed (and in my opinion for the worse).  I've wanted to keep up, I've promised to keep up, but I have not.
My outfits often now get documented with puppets on my hand, thanks for being in the puppeteer comedy troupe, Puppets Amok.

My initial goals with fashion blogging was to showcase my style with some how-to posts, but also start "my brand" (gross terminology, I know) of being a stylish multi-layered lady, including being a stylish funny gal.  Somewhere along the way the style part completely took over.  I've tried to transition back to my original idea but the switch never felt organic. 
I still bring my 70s style to industry events. I write for the Chunky Zeta, and here I am with actress and friend, Tayler DeLine at the second season premiere.

When my mom died I initially thought I should just drop the blog altogether, as the idea of even trying to stage outfit pictures made me want to curl up in a ball.  I've already addressed several times how uncomfortable social media makes me feel and how I hate the inherent dishonesty of putting up a smiling photo when your life is making you sad.  My initial reaction to closing the blog after my mom died reflects this.  But then as the next few weeks passed I realized I wasn't done with blogging.  It struck me like a flash of lightning that I should continue Grace Rock Kelly Roll.  The whole idea behind that name literally means that I'm part Grace Kelly but I'm also part rocker chick.  BUT the more loose idea behind the name is what we all have a dichotomy and cannot be easily put into a box.  I can do several things with this blog, as it's the entire purpose behind the name of my blog.  I want to tell the truth, the grey area that nobody talks about.  I can't not talk about grieving and call out the weird moments it brings.
Fashion and puppeteering go so well together! 

What will I be blogging about?  Fair question, and to be honest I'm not 100% sure.  Some of it will be about my comedy life and a showcase of some of the cool projects I get to do.  Some of it may get super real and be about the grief process, as we as a society don't feel comfortable addressing death and all it involves.  And yes, some of it will be about style.  As much as I DON'T miss dragging out my tripod and DSLR at the exact right time of day to take outdoor photos of my outfits, I do miss documenting fun style ideas I've had.  But I'll probably go back to a more natural way of documenting my wardrobe.  Regardless, this may turn into an everything blog that is more narrative than about topics...without being gross like a LiveJournal or Xanga.
Me and the lovely ladies of Pinup Squirrels. 

Thank you so much to all who have stuck it out with me, despite infrequent postings and ever changing Instagram algorithms.  I promise to better post here, even though the content may vary.  I've been posting (semi) often on Instagram and Twitter, so please follow there (and/or turn on notifications as social media platforms are messy and a lot of content gets buried) so you can follow the fun I attempt to have on social media.  (Links are below.) And thank you so much to all of the kind remarks many of you left in the wake of my mom passing away.  Again, I don't know what I'm in for and feel confused, but I at very least feel loved and cared for.  So forever I thank you!

XOXO
Lauren-Blair Donovan
               Facebook/Twitter/Instagram

Comments

  1. You are strong and will find what feeds your soul with your passion. Losing parents are hard but finding yourself through the ups and downs creates something stronger.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm so sorry about your mother. I can't imagine the confusion and emptiness you must feel.

    The conflict and frustration with blogging is something I identify with, and tbh it's the last thing you should be worried about right now lol. But I'm glad you've decided to stay - for now - because I really enjoy what you do! Take some time to yourself and do what feels natural to you.

    <3

    ReplyDelete

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